the First smoke of the morning

the first thing I do in the morning is typically have a shower, and if the shower is taken then I'll just chill checking my email until I can have a shower. Promptly after getting dressed I have a cup of coffee or tea and then I would head out for my morning smoke. This morning the routine changed a bit since my significant other quit smoking. I waited till I was in the car to have that smoke.

Let me tell you, I wake up and by the time I'm coherent I want to have that smoke. I know it's going to taste disgusting yet I still want to have my smoke. It tastes like absolute shit; there is nothing appealing about it and the aftertaste that it leaves in your mouth is vile. Sometimes I start the smoke only to want to butt it out after two drags but something makes me finish the fucking thing.

I'm addicted to smoking and I want to quit. I've started re-reading Allen Carr's The Easyway to Quit smoking.

I've read this book before and I was able to stop for two weeks until my stupid brain said... well if it was this easy then you can do it again. There is no more of that, it's time to quit this filthy habit. I'm going to smoke until I'm done the book and then that's it; no more. Non-smokers do not understand how soul sucking the process of smoking is. I can't wait to finally be rid of this compunction