Tuesday, July 11, 2006

A Tank Update

A couple weeks ago I think I posted that I wanted to start taking better care of myself. The smoking this has been a bit harder than I thought though I am cutting back and I’ve got to set a firm date and actually stick to it. Quitting in itself isn’t that hard but the influence of those around you is sometimes far harder to do. The GF has been fairing far better than I have in that she will have one maybe two smokes in the evening not even thinking about having one during the day. I’m not there yet but I have started to cut back and started to question myself on why I want a smoke and if I enjoy it.

Here’s what I have come up with in conclusion:

  • I don’t enjoy smoking what so ever, half the time I’m using it as an excuse to procrastinate and the other half I simply grab a smoke out of habit.

  • I know that I don’t need smokes because when I wake up I’m not dying to have one hell half the time I don’t actually want one till I’m in the office.

  • Smoking is disgusting! The car reeks and I don’t smoke that much in the car.

  • I need to set a date and stick to it and just quit… I think I might just put out a smoke one day and be done with it, the sooner the better.

As for the remainder of taking care of myself, I have started going to the gym. On the weekend I went twice and I’m going again this evening. The goal is to go four times a week until I start to loose some of my girth. I wanted to use weight as a measure for how I’m doing but really seriously I don’t care all that much if I weigh 200 or 220 as long as I don’t have a belly. I was thinking that the best measure in this case will be how much I’m able to do in a workout. For example my workouts have consisted of jogging or the elliptical machine for 25 minutes followed by some weights and stretching finishing off with crunches. When I first set foot in the gym I was able to eek out 30 crunches to a sore stomach now I’m up to 50 with pain. When I’m able to do three sets of 20 instead of 5 sets of 10 I’ll be happy. I’m not trying to get myself all ripped and built, I don’t want nor need that. What I do want is to loose the extra paunch I’ve got and trim up. I want to feel better about myself because right now I don’t.

The last two items are eating and drinking. I have started being a bit more conscious about the whole eating bit but when I think about it although I don’t eat very well I also don’t eat that badly. I have 2-3 meals on an average day and they typically have some parts of most of the 4 main food groups. To top this off I’ve started taking a daily multi-vitamin again. Which leaves me with drinking; I’m trying to cut out a day or two of drinking each week (mostly because I was having some form of alcohol 6-7 times a week). This is a step in the right direction and to top this off I’ve started to cut back when I do drink so I don’t get stupidly drunk and hurt the next day.

This is a start, now I just have to keep it up and start improving on it and I’ll start feeling better about myself. I’ve always been a confident person but not necessarily happy with how I look and how I feel. Next up is to fix the problem of hemorrhaging money (Thanks to Tara for this term) and I’ve already kind of started looking at that. And for as much as I’m sure this is all incredibly fascinating blog reading it’s important to me.